Would you trust a celeb with a sewing machine?
It is positively common knowledge that I am a sucker for a designer/high-street collaboration. I like to think of them as a little slice of superior luxury for us non-pedigree types; opulent designs finished in economically-priced fabrics whilst, nevertheless, sold at premium price points. But surely those few extra ‘0’s added to the price tag are validated by way of the designer size label handsomely sewn into the waistband…? That is certainly one size label that I am not reluctant to have protruding from the neckline of my dress.
One of the most recent designer/high street alliances reuniting me with those oh so familiar butterflies in my tum and the irrepressible urge to circle the date of its release on my calendar with a big red pink marker (November 17th 9:00 hours for the record) is the H&M Versace coalition. H&M UK is very much a store which offers inexpensive basics in a vast array of colours, whether they be in jersey or wool, although this is habitually dependent on the current UK weather reports (therefore resulting in the choices being predominately knitwear). In addition to this, they dabble in the latest trends – routinely successfully – and, more often than not, offer singular pieces each for under £39.99. A price which just manages to sound rational to even the most acrimoniously fickle shopper (i.e. moi), whom embraces then discards a trend swifter than the new issue of Elle – otherwise known as The Bible - can be drafted. But how, exactly, do Donatella and H&M’s creative advisor Margereta van den Bosch intend to combine Versace’s neon palette and penchant for bling with the high-street hulk’s uncomplicated basics?
Exhibits A…
Exhibit B…
Well it seems Donatella prevailed within the scuffle of the sewing machines. Yes, the neon animal prints are there. As is the bling and leather. But I wouldn’t expect any less from a designer/high-street collab with Versace in the driving seat. Regardless of any preconceptions of the union, it is predestined to sail from the rails, not simply due to the triumph of the preceding 2010 Lanvin/H&M collection.
It is, of course, almost natural for distinguished designers to take on high-street brands in order to reach a broader assortment of potential customers, and such an alliance would sparkle upon any designer’s CV. But where do we stand on “celeb”-turned-designer/high-street/online collaborations? There are countless examples of these: Alexa Chung meets Madewell, Emma Watson meets People Tree, Lily Allen meets New Look, Pixie Lott meets Lipsy, Cheryl Cole meets Stylistpick…the list goes on. But, as a few of the above samples exemplify, design knowledge nor established fashion credentials are necessarily required in order to institute a successful “celeb”-turned-designer/high-street affiliation.
My current favourite celeb-turned-designer is the Fearne Cotton collection for Very.co.uk. Fearne, a radio and TV presenter, is acknowledged for her distinctive and shifting sense of dress and is the embodiment of an acrimoniously fickle shopper, yet she manages to tackle each trend she confronts – whether it be fashion or beauty - with effortless grace and translates it productively to us non-celebrity types.
But perhaps that is what we need, an interpreter; an everyday acrimoniously fickle consumer whom we can relate to, rather than a designer giant whom is far from applicable to a customer who wishes to spend no more than £40 on an item that will most definitely maybe never be worn more than the once (especially if photographic evidence is subsequently posted on Facebook). After all, we don’t all have access to a “What were you thinking?” slot within the pages of a gossip magazine in order to assist our wardrobe choices each morning.
Happy Halloweeeeeen
Halloween is officially the most exciting time of year for me. First of all, I do love a good dress up, it has to be said, and secondly it is my birthday on November first, and so a good ole knees up is always in order :-) Moreover, what better excuse is there to don the glitter and black nail polish without looking predominantly drag?
Generally, for me, black nail polish is merely reminiscent of my head banging phase which (dejectedly) occurred mid-2006 whilst I was still in attendance of high school, in which I somehow possessed the peculiar notion that adopting Ramones band t-shirts, cheese-grating the knees of my jeans and promoting odd laces in my converse made me “original”. But the specific memory of that period which really does make me recoil in mortification - above all - is the fact that I would respond to every enquiry regarding my normality with the methodical comeback “…define normal?” WHAT WAS I THINKING?! I well and truly cringe every time I think of that epoch (why oh why didn’t my loving Mother ever take the time to point out that a mullet is not at all cool? In any era and in any language…). Not simply due to the fact that I was probably considered to be more “average” and stereotypical in that particular state than in any other (please remember, this was 2006. Greenday were regarded as kings and eyeliner was just as much as a staple to boys as to girls), but the fact that I answered a question WITH A QUESTION! Of course, this stage in my life was also B.F. for me, otherwise known as Before Facebook. Myspace was the place-to-be - as such - and the self-snapped birds-eye-view profile picture (in sepia tone, naturally) was obligatory. As were the pigeon toes. As was this facial expression —> :-/
This phase is, of course, a memory of which I would much rather banish to the very very back of the furthest corner of the sinful wardrobe of my mind (which, may I add, is just as sinfully overwhelmed as my own wardrobe). Because of this, even the slightest hint of black nail polish on a passer-by instigates within me an instant whiff of stale cigarette smoke (kids, don’t do it - it wasn’t cool then and it certainly isn’t now) and I seem to contract that contaminating buzzing in my eardrums that you can only acquire from intentionally standing too close to a mammoth speaker. The only thing which constitutes the buzzing memory to worsen x10 is the sighting of chipped black nail polish on a passer-by (again kids…don’t do it)…
But on a more positive note, Halloween brings with it cobwebbed tights and face-paints! Come on, who doesn’t love face-paints?! In fact, my Halloween face design of choice is definitely a witch – green face, rice-crispies glued to your cheeks to make authentic witchy warts, the works… :-)
Anyway, enough about me, myself and I; let’s take a look which Halloween-inspired-fashions have tickled the pickles of certain celebrity types over the years…
Ahh, Queen Kate circa 1997. Propsies on the stocking-suspender combo – as those who know me personally are aware, I currently work within a lingerie shop and I uphold the mantra that good underwear is the compulsory first layer of any outfit, and when would such a mantra be more applicable than when your underwear is as visible as Kate’s here?! But seriously, can Kate ever put a foot wrong style-wise? She is England’s supreme first lady of scarecrow-chic. I don’t think I would even knock her if she became the new spokesperson for one of those ridonkulous bingo TV adverts and if she were to sport an M & Ms -shaped bingo ball ensemble (complete with those stockings) to the next Kate Moss for Topshop collection launch no doubt they would sell out momentarily (and on that note, come back Kate!!).
P.S. Halloween is never an excuse to wear velour
Now, there seems to be three definitive choices when it comes to choosing your ideal Halloween outfit if you’re of the female variety: traditional, quirky and slutty. Gwenny Gwen Gwen, being the pinnacle of ultimate quirk, looks great as a fried egg. Genuinely. I mean, who else would?! (Okay, I realise Katy Perry styled this up too but Perry’s in a whooooole other league regarding kookiness). The only downfall of this outfit - for me - is that Gwen’s expression doesn’t completely sell it to me. It’s as if her and three of her friends had concluded prior to this event that all three would dress up as buffet breakfast items, yet Gwen was left with egg on her face (haha!) when only she stuck to the original plan. No doubt the three (former) friends of Gwen turned up as sexy Wonderwoman, Catwoman and Glamour Puss – respectively, in turn opting for the “slutty” dress-up option. The moral of this particular tale appears to be that rice-crispies (worn specifically on your face for witchy wart purposes), and continental breakfasts in general, will always prevail.
Finally, the gothic Viv Westwood S/S 2012 catwalk show brought with it multiple cobwebbed style knits and The-Woman-In-Black-style ensembles that would almost certainly have Dan Radcliffe quaking in his brogues. That is, if The Woman In Black favoured harems and six-inch + platforms, which I’m pretty sure she did. These ghoulish homages almost make black nail polish look completely cool (almost) and are undeniably Havisham-dead-bride-chic. In fact, I don’t think death has ever looked so good…except maybe in Hocus Pocus (S.J.P swoooooon)…
In conclusion, if you’re going to dress up for Halloween, it’s definitely 2011 protocol to go all out. Facial rice-crispies et al. Whose with me?! :-)
